It was when I was 14 and there was a dinner party at my house and I invited two of my friends from school and, as usual, we holed up in our room and danced to loud music while the grownups did their partying downstairs. And there was this moment: I was tired and out of breath, so I stood near the door watching the other two. And watching one of my best friends, I thought: Oh my God, she’s beautiful! She’s so amazingly beautiful and I love her so much.
And then I thought: Please don’t let me be gay please don’t let me gay please don’t let me be gay.
Twenty years later and I’m glad God didn’t answer that particular prayer.